What an Opportunity.

Good Morning! This is your car. 

If you see something, say something, in this case. If you're reading this, please stop stealing tires. You're missing all of your opportunity to be lifting weights, by wasting barbells to prop up cars on their rims after removing their tires.

This is not Ok.

Lisa Sidarz, the neighborhood block watch party notified her neighborhood regarding the atrocity with the following statement:

From Email List Serve SoHu:
"When I was driving to work this morning, there was a station wagon up on stones with all 4 wheels gone.  It is right near St Josephs Church. So if you made a right onto Edwards heading to State, the car is on the left hand side just before St Josephs. I was moving, so didn't see what make the car is, but the name on the back started with V (not a name I recognized - not Volvo)"
-Lisa Siedlarz 

A sandwich, reserving a parking spot. 

Elsewhere on Edwards, a sandwich in the middle of the road was discovered. It was taking up a parking space.  This was an issue to local pedestrians. "There's a burger in the middle of the street," said one, as he walked towards the car with the missing tires. "I wonder if we should eat it."

It was advised to leave both the car and the burger alone, since both looked dangerous in their own ways. If you are on Edwards Street today, please be careful.  It's a mess out there.